you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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