I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
