So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
