I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
