His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
