help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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