The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
