I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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