So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I intend to get homeless drunk
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
