..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
