its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
