so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
