You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
The Olympian is in my bed
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize