Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
