Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
