He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
