Tell her she can't have a vagina
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
