It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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