That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
