at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The adults are the big ones right?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
