Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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