The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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