Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
