my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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