i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
