Jerry, you need to find god
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
