Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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