ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
