He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
