remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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