The best revenge is premature balding
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
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