So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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