If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize