We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
