i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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