You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
