If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
