hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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