never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
