that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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