Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
