your thong is hanging out like whoa
no you cant smoke seaweed
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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