I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize