I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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