I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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