Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
