I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
