i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
