Pappa wants mamma naked
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
