What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
