You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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