We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize