so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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