after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
