You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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