You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize