tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
