Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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