you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
