I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
my being single is dangerous.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
