oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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