I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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