Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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