One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
