please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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